To the man on the crowded train taking up the seat next to him with his laptop. Your passive agressive attempt to avoid close contact with another human failed miserably today, didn't it? I'm not going to enable you, Mister. I think you need help, and so you are a target for me whenever I board a crowded train.
I don't know if you think other people are dirty, or smelly, or if you're just so self impotant that you think you deserve two seats, but I'm here to help you work it out.
You're right about other people you know. My breath often stinks of coffee in the morning and although I showered this morning and am wearing newly laundered clothing, my car is full of dust and bacteria and my wife is just getting over a debilitating stomach virus that I am probably carrying around. Oh, and I cleaned snot off of my 2 year old's face just this morning. She's got a bad cold as well. Can't recall if I washed my hands before I got on the train.
I'm not angry at you, brother. And I'm ready to help you get over this selfish acting out. I'm always going to sit next to you if I see you taking up that extra seat on the two seat side of the aisle when every other soul is sitting next to someone. You're my boy! Whattup dude! Oops, sorry if I spit on you.
And to the person who sits alone in the middle seat of the three seaters: you frighten me a little. I'm still working up the guts to face that level of self centered dysfunction. But don't worry, I'll come around. People like you shouldn't be left to themselves.
2 comments:
I too hate the germ-phobs that hog seats... there is one in particular that gets the coughing treatment every morning from me... keep up the good work...
Jimmah Flippah whata what what!
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