Jim W: The Most Approachable Man in the Metropolitan Area

That's right. For some reason, my good looks and my snappy wardrobe make me the go to guy for lost tourists, novice truck drivers, and other desperate folks in need of directions.

I must get a request for directions a couple of times a week, both in Manhattan and Westchester. Something about me clearly states, "This handsome man with the beard and glasses looks like he knows where he is." Is it the outdated hoops in my left earlobe? My trusty, well worn Birkenstocks? The lovely sheen of my light olive complexion? Who knows. Just last week, a Hispanic truck driver with New Jersey plates slowed down at a green light in a busy midtown intersection and chose me from the 15 people waiting to cross the street to ask, in broken English, which way Madison Avenue was. And yesterday, a young mother approached me at the playground (where I was busily trying to keep my two year old Eva from plummeting six feet into the "protective" woodchips beneath the 5-12 year old playset) to ask where Saxon Woods Golf Course was. I am happy to report that the trucker got perfect directions from me, but sadly the mommy got a bungled mess that, if made into a map, would resemble what happens when you close your eyes and randomly turn the dials of an Etch a Scetch™.

This brings up an interesting point, which makes my approachability even more puzzling. Unless it involves a simple finger pointing gesture (Madison Avenue was just one block east), I'm really piss poor at giving directions, and receiveing them as well. Also, the presence of my earbuds does nothing to deter the confused from my path. Instead of choosing someone with open ears, they walk right up to me, and begin speaking with no regard to the fact that I might not be able to hear them. Of course they then have to repeat themselves while I tune out the music or Howard Stern blasting into my ears at a decibel level strong enough to block out the screetchiest bus brakes. What's up with that? Perhaps they think I'm wearing some kind of clunky hearing aid.

Sir Paul McCartney once wrote "In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." I only hope it applies to giving directions as well.